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The Hard Realization


Last Friday night, David, Gracelyn and I went out to the Tolleson High School football game to support our Friend Jason- one of the coaches. Go Scorpions! Wolverines! ;) It was so fun and it made me miss being there cheering on my own team. We chatted with some our our neighbors, David's parents and then enjoyed some root beer floats. It was a good time, when all of a sudden our little sweetheart began to rub her eyes and begin to fuss. I nursed her for a while but she was falling asleep so I knew it was time to leave. Practicing along with the cheerleaders really exhausted her! It was right about half time when we said our good-byes and headed out.

I had forgotten my mei tai so as we made the walk back to the car I made the comment, "Gracie, you need to start walking...you're getting so heavy for mommy!" Just as the last word left my lips, tears began to well up in my eyes. I was immediately stunned at how quickly I regretted that. I looked at David and he knew too.

I am amazed how quickly these sweet things grow. I can still feel that "kicking" feeling sometimes when I'm in bed. I clearly remember the nurse warning David that cutting the cord was tricky but then David did it with no problem. (Yes, he still brags about that!) I remember how excited I was when her cord fell off because I wanted to bathe her for the first time. Her first real smile, her first night sleeping on her own, her first outfit!I still feel like she is apart of me and she is. She always will be. It sounds crazy but I even miss the nights where I would wake up every 2 hours on the dot because I knew she wanted me, she needed ME. Right now she does but she wont always. Pretty soon these adorable "firsts" will turn into her first day at school, her first bus ride, her first best friend and before we know it- her first car, boyfriend, prom.....

Pretty soon she wont want to wear silly shirts like this.
"I Love my Mom & Dad"

Pretty soon taking up this much of the bed just wont be OK.


Pretty soon I wont be the first one to greet her in the morning.
 
 
Pretty soon is just going to come too fast.
 

I feel I cherish each moment but I am now going to cherish every second. These babies grow way to fast and I just don't want to wake up one day feeling like I missed something. I know I can't always be there because that just isn't physically possible for me. But, I can trust God with her life and know that He has a plan and protection over her. When I'm not with her- He is. When I can't comfort her- He will. I pray that my daughter would grow to love the Lord with all of her being and I will do my best to show her that even though it is the hardest thing to be an example of. I'm not perfect but I am His and He never stops working on me.

So even though my little crawler loves to adventure around, she isn't walking just yet and I choose now to hold her a little longer and cuddle her a little closer because I know tomorrow will come and I'll be chasing after her.

I am the most blessed mommy on this planet.

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